it's TOMORROW!
woohoo. i need to sleep soon >.<

wells. I'm back from my vacation.
Will update about it soon.
right now, I just feel so shitty.
and my driving practical is in seven days' time.
not that it matters anymore.
sigh.

I was reminded of that hurt, that pain.
urgh. it sucks.
why did i have to be reminded of it?
I'm thinking...
Perhaps, God meant for it to happen so that I realise that I haven't really let go of that hurt in me yet.
MAN!!!!!!!! :(

有一种爱叫做放手.

I actually feel kind of better today ler.
Yesterday night was horrible.
and I'm very thankful for Yvonne's phonecall and her time spent listening to me.
Thank you ah bon :))

I feel tired.
one last paper to go.
jiayou, limjiaxin.

this is what i did today.

1. Had to walk a far distance because a bus broke down and jammed up the lanes.
2. Counted coins in the shop.
3. Ate bak kut teh (not my fav shop one).
4. Played games at boardgame cafe.
5. Rebonded my hair and dyed it (from 4.30pm to 9.30pm).
6. Came home on an empty stomach.
7. Going to sleep on an empty stomach and sad mood.

it was a yes-no question.
but sigh.
never mind.
so many things to study.
but having stupid headache.
SO SIAN la.. >.<
where did my motivation and momentum go!! :(

I just want to be me.

I'm trying to learn something.
but somehow, because it has associated with something else, I don't feel like it anymore.
I'm possessive, I know.
sigh.

where ignorance is always bliss, one should not let her curiosity get the better of her.
and end up like me.
Feeling really terrible.
I feel heartbroken right now.
it's hurting me.
:(

hello world.
hello stranger.
sighh.

16 september 2009.
it's the first time that I felt so traumatised in my whole life.
and I thank God for keeping you safe.
really. please promise not to get me so traumatised again.
I love you :)

today was a great day.
I went to COMEX w my most beloved boyfriend.
RAWR! the carparks were all full.
had to wait quite long to get a lot.
and thank God that we only took around fifteen to wait for one :D
then walked around.
SO MANY THINGS THAT WE WANTED TO BUY.
then boyfriend was busy enacting the scene from SHOPAHOLIC: "Do I really NEED this?"
So Cute!! :D

So we walked everywhere and were so tired.
SO happy for Boyfriend!
he bought a new external hard drive and antivirus!
whee.

OH! we were heading for the food area near the Fountain of Wealth.
when I stopped to look at something of a small restaurant.
and boyfriend couldn't resist the temptation anymore and so we settled for it.
hehs.
it's SKINNY PIZZA @ suntec city.
the food was fabulous!
okay not very great.
but savoury :)
we really ate a WHOLE COW i think.
haha.
and boyfriend wasted money on some UNIQUE thing.
:p
then we headed back to wdls, wanting to watch movies.
but cldn't get tix.
and being a glutton, despite being so FULL, I forced BF to eat topless five @ Swensens with me :D
WAHAHHAHA :D
I AM SO HAPPY TODAY :D

RAWR!

headache.
stressed.
unwell.
unhappy :(

today is a happy day!
I went over to Malaysia.
:) so happy to be back in a place where the food is yummielicious and cheap.
where kbox-ing is so fun and cheap.
where life just seems so relaxing;
hehs. maybe its my mentality ba.
I always feel more relaxed in msia; probably I lead a more hectic life here bahs.

Went in the morning.
Waited for Jeremy to take his own sweet time to fetch me.
then we wanted to eat kway chap one.
but never open.
and so, we went for our favourite bak kut teh with the "STANDARD ORDER"; and my boyfriend finished three cups of barley drinks inclusive of MINE :P

Went home to see BOBBY!
man.. he's still so cute.
and oh! and my boyfriend's nephew is so ADORABLE!! :))
Boyfriend watched some show on discovery channel while i read my book.
then after which, I was watching FRINGE and he was busy playing MAFIA WARS AGAIN!!
then, he had some meeting w his brother which i found to be REAL BORING and i went to read my book again.
HEHS.
waited for them for damn long.
then we finally got to go SING SONG!
wheeeee. my boyfriend sang until now got sore throat :P
but it was so enjoyable! :))
then we went for dinner with his family!
Great fun too :)
but time really flew past DAMN FAST la.
and now, I'm home sweet home le.
Wished I could have spent EVEN more time there :/

I just finished a great book today.
it was so ROMANTIC can!! :D
two fabulously sweet proposals :)
hmm. okay, it's late.
I'm turning in lers.
oh! before i go!
just wana wish my best friend:
HAPPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ESTHER TOH LUI JUE!!! ^^
ps: i still remember how to spell your chinese name in hanyupinyin. amazing!

YAY! yesterday went watch YEAR ONE & District 9 w boyfriend.
was really tired but the company was great! :))
then went to eat ichiban and we managed to keep the bill within fifty bucks for the FIRST TIME! :D
LOLS.

it's exactly two months from now.
yay! R-O-A-D-T-R-I-P!!! :DD

its O-V-E-R !!!!!!!!
for now. haha.
whee. Boyfriend is coming over to celebrate with me! :)
yay! it's been such a long time since i last watched a movie w him!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( and such a long time since i last saw him :(
but it's gg to be fun FUN FUN!

two down. one last to go.
and one last day to chiong finish.
I feel so unmotivated to even start doing.
it's such a stupid assignment.
all about stating. B-O-R-I-N-G

BOYFRIEND! come back soon, please! :(

happy 44th monthsery!

sobs. don't get to spend it w my boyfriend!
sad.

however, I'm quite happy today.
cause I've submitted my LM essay and got only 2% :D
and it's nice to know that BOYFRIEND rmbs! :))
so touched ^^

NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gona change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gona change my love for you
You oughta know by now much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there(for you)if yu should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gona change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gona change my love for you
You oughta know by now much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
Nothing's gona change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

thanks for enlightening me.
Thanks for making me realise "Cost and Worth are two very different things".
thank you :))

low on everything.
seriously not feeling well.
totally sian :'(

thanks for simply being by my side today :)
thank you, dear boyfriend :)

The Hangover was great; PERFECT! :)
FOP with you.
I like the message today. Real good.
thanks for attending with me.

thank you, my dear.
I love you :)

I look forward to one thing everyday :)
it's my only motivation :))

:))

:)

Things to be happy about :)

1. I survived my first day on the road!
it came as a total surprise;
haha. No more driving in circles in the bus bay ler!! :)
whee :)
and I did ok, I think :))

2. I bought a new fluffy soft but firm pillow.
whee!! ^^

3. SCH's starting TML!!
whee. I'm so glad to be going back to sch!! :)
Can't wait! :))

okay. that's about it.
Don't want to be a grouchy girl anymore; it's destroying my health.
:) i want a bright yellow flower too! :)

With a glimpse of hope, comes some little expectations,
and with all that, comes great disappointment if you're not careful enough.
:(

I'm NOT so grouchy today.
:)
Tiring day.
Perhaps, today, I'll be able to just drop into sleep w/o much trouble.
I need my rest badly :(

Was just browsing through my own blog.
Just realised I haven't been happy in weeks.
I know alot of people are worried about me.
But I'm fine, really.
thanks :)

Issues are left unresolved.
No communication attempted.
Oh wells.
I'll wait.
Maybe a few more days and I'll make my decision.

PS: HEY YOU! thanks for the sweet chocolates.
I'm feeling much better w the chocolates! :))
it's true that chocolates make you happy.
at least, I know someone bothers :))
thanks.

another boring day at home.
*yawns* not feeling too well.
Been not resting well enough.
Just called the people to cancel my booking and reservations for today.
So freaking paiseh; 'cause it took them quite alot of trouble to get me what I wanted.
and now. great. sighh.

Finally found the song that I want lers.
Kind of happy about that :)
man. I need a big box of chocolates to tide me through this!! :(

this song speaks it all.

范玮琪 - 是非题
每段故事都有一篇剧情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心却只向着你前进
也许爱 越单纯越着迷

你是窗外另外一片风景
在你眼里我是什么关系
你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
何时能诚实面对自己
那一句我爱你
我们从不开口那个言语
永远像少了勇气
别人都说
我和你之间的关系
没有人相信只有关心

我们从不正视那个问题
那一些是非题
总让人伤透脑筋

我会期待
爱情盛开那一个黎明
一定会有美丽的爱情

issues must be resolved. :)

you made me realise:
1. whatever I say, is bullshit.
2. whatever I need or want you to do for me, you do for others only.

ha. the irony of it all.

Humans are hard nuts to crack.
When everything goes well in life,
very seldom, people think about properly cherishing someone, or even showing their appreciation of having someone in their life.
More often than not, people say they are too preoccupied with other things in life, thus they forget to do so.
How sad, right?
:'(

So, people, remember to show your love for the people who have been standing by you and caring for you.
Tell them that you cherish them. :)

I hate this feeling.
This feeling sucks.
Why do I even have this feeling?
rawr.
I don't want to feel this way.
SHOO!

:(
Life goes on, I guess.
The good thing that has ever been happening for me recently is that my faith has been growing stronger.
:)

Cooked dinner just now.
Accidentally landed a deep cut on my finger.
Painful. but not as painful as the hurt I received from your words.
I guess I need a long time to recover this time.

Lesson Learnt today : I possess all the flaws that I'd hated myself to have.
GREAT. sigh.
:'(

today's a FUN day.
Me and BF went to watch Monsters vs Aliens.
it's a great show!!
we ran into his gd fren and his gf in the cinema!
Such a coincidence.
wahaha.
then we went shopping w them.
Helped to choose a gorgeous diamond ring.
and of course, it was the more expensive one la.
My taste never fails me.
(not that I'm THAT materialistic; but somehow, the prettier things that appeal to me, tend to cost more :p)

after which, we went to eat KU GUA TANG (OUR FAVOURITE!!!!!!!!! ^^)
it's so yum yum, can!
I wanna go again soon, JEREMY! :D
then went work.
after work, we ate yumyum green tea icecream again (OUR OBSESSION! :D)
then we went home rested awhile.
then BOYFRIEND gave me my second lesson of driving.
I know he was trying his best not to lose his patience with me.
ha!
but I know how to turn round and round and ROUND ler!! :)
yay!
but I'm a potential road HOGGER.
:P
but yups, I had fun.
then went home watch teevee, ate instant spag.
the BF taught me the basics of piano; cause I really wanna learn properly :))
MR JEREMY LIM is a great teacher :))
and I love him lots! ^^

okay. tml's my first lesson w my instructor.
hope I'll do ok.
gg sleep.
nights :D

I'm feeling like shit right now.
rawr!
really need to scream it all out.
:((
now, I know why I was having the weird moody feelings.

yesterday was a well-spent day :)
Went watch Terminator Salvation and Night @ the Museum 2 with Jer.
Both shows are simply fabulous :))
After which, we went to Seasons for some food.
Had nice fat potato wedges (Jer's Fav), yummielicious Cream of Mushroom (Our Fav), nicenice hawaiian pizza :)
and of course, nice swensens' icecream :))
then we went home to go through some cds.
Kind of relive our childhoods :))
so nice!
then went for crabs for dinner before going home.
:))

Life with you can be so simple, yet makes me so happy :))

Yups. Am turning 21 in less than half an hour's time :)
but I think I've already gotten all my blessings and celebrations done beforehand lers :)
thanks to fellow PRFs; namely ...
Florence Siew
Quek Peiling
Soo Suxian
Yvonne Peh
Eileen Tay
Cheng Liyi
For the really sweet celebration.
and you girls ah,
the video nearly made me cry.
( I had to hold back my tears.)
thank you girls for the KTV treat, and the stars balloons!!
I simply love it.
I know I wasn't the most enthu birthday girl yesterday.
thanks for bearing with me, fellow PRFs.
and thank you to ah bon, liyi and clement for the pwetty wallet :)
thank you all for sticking by me all these while and for your concern, girls :)
oh! thank you to EUGENE toh who cldn't make it.
I know you care too :)
get well soon ya?
and thanks to ANU!
for trying to keep me company with the nuts game and for trying ur best to make the atmosphere as hype as possible :)
thank you people :))
really. thank you.

and of course,
I must thank the person who took pains to convince me that I'm nuts not wanting to celebrate my 21st birthday.
and whom happens to be my most beloved boyfriend, Jeremy Lim Chuan Ghai.
thank you for the gorgeous necklace :)
thank you for the 21 lovely red roses.
thank you for making a surprise appearance.
thank you for volunteering to be my voice when I lost it :)
thank you especially for standing by me and supporting me in all that I do and making sure that I'm happy :)
thank you, dear.

and so, yups. thank you everyone for making it possible :)
I cldn't have been happier.
I love you all! :))

and, I thank God for putting all of you in my life.
I really feel more than blessed :)
thanks.

I'll be away for the weekend. :)
hopefully everything goes well.

It's not difficult at all; just try harder...

it's finally over!
it's been way too long a period that I've been eating and studying at MACS almost every single day.
SO FATTENING can!
haha.
though I'm feeling kind of lousy for my paper today,
but I am glad that it is over :))

Boyfriend, thank you for making the effort to come over and celebrate the end of my exams with me.
thanks for cheering me up and believing in me :))
I LOVE YOU!! ^^

I CONQUERED THE M.A.B MONSTER today!!
never felt so happy in a long long time :))
ONE LAST ONE TO GO! :))

what to do?
Life just moves on, right?

oh wells.
you really didn't remember at all.

hmt paper is in one more day.
didn't do well for my individual project.
I need a miracle to help me through it.
No more breakdowns.
I'm sick of it already.
Am going to study somemore.
to quote my avid reader-unifren:
"Even though we may have lost the battle, we are going to win the WAR."
hopes tomorrow will be a better day.

happy 40th monthsery. but you don't remember.

I miss my dearest boyfriend.
but I doubt that he knows.
maybe he knows; but not the extent of it.
I miss him when I am studying for my papers;
thinking if he's also rushing out his urgently-pending assignments.
I miss him when I am having my meals.
thinking if he remembered to eat in the midst of his busy schedule.
I miss him, simply all the time.
BOYFRIEND, I need a hug badly :'(

just some random thoughts...

1. Exams are SO near.
yucks. hope it will be over soon.

2. Life sucks at the moment.
but I do try to find some happiness from this dark moment of my life.
thank you to my most beloved boyfriend and my dearest friends for your support :)

3. and ya, I'm turning twenty-one in a month's time.
thanks to those who have asked about how I wana celebrate.
and no, I really don't feel like celebrating it.
I just wana get out of this dark moment.

4. feeling mentally and emotionally tired.
must cheer up soon.
jiayou limjiaxin.

I think I need a miracle badly.
a BIG one is needed badly.

I have to make a big decision.
One choice made, would require a great deal of sacrifice.
Or I could choose the easier way out.
and be the self-centered and selfish me.
I wish there was an option C.
perhaps, that option C is a miracle bahs.
Guess, I'll go pray about it.

Lord, if things can't be easier, make me stronger.

AHHHHHHH. finally home sweet home after a long long day! :((

Two things that didn't make my day :

1. Been approached by the G.H.O.S.T.
she was like practically haunting me!
made me so paranoid!!
she approached me and tried to pinch me with an evil look on her face can!
I'm NOT exaggerating!
ask ronald. he witnessed it ALL. >.<
horrible shit.

2. Bad Strain of my shoulder.
I'm practically feeling like a handicapped lo.
any movement give rise to pain.
even breathing in deep.
Goodness.

Things that made my day :DD

1. it's my LAST day of SCHOOL! :DD *blinkblink*
2. Milo treat from Ronald who claims that it's for not seeing each other regularly enough >.<
3. I got to sit and chat with my favourite people in class!! :))
4. My sweet friends who helped me print my notes so that I can start on my revision :D

Wells. Though things aren't going great for me at the moment,
but I really pray and hope that they will turn out for the better.
'Cause I really feel tired :(

it's finally OVER!!
Gosh. it was hell.
But I thank God for putting people like my most beloved BOYFRIEND, eileen and emily in my life!
They really helped me through this hell of a time.
Boyfriend had to stay up late for two consecutive days to keep me company despite having to go school really early on the next.
AND! eileen and emily stayed up with me to help and teach me stuffs even though they could well be spending time sleeping.
SO sweet right?
I was totally touched :'(

a big thank you to boyfriend who sacrificed his sleep and for his patience with me.
a big thank you to eileen who stayed up late and went without lunch all because of me.
a big thank you to emily who stayed up late too and stayed back in school to guide me in my work
and a big thank you to eileen again for her "SHOPAHOLIC for the SHOPAHOLIC" email. which really made me smile :))
and of course, the biggest thankyou goes to God,
who put these nice people in my life to help me through such a tough time.
I wouldn't be able to do everything if not for Him.
:))

sometimes, I find that life is kind of unfair.
but, whose is fair?
and things tend to happen at the most important time of your life when you're supposed to be happy.
good timing sense uh?

I'm just monologue-ing here.
'Cause I'm dreading things and I'm definitely dreading going for my mktg meeting.
RAWRR!! :'((

am sick.
still sick.
Need sleep.
Lots of it.
Need love.
Need tonnes of it.
:'(

HMT FINALLY DONE!
gosh. I feel like I'm dying now.
woohoo!
LET ME PASS PLEASE!! >.<

I'm SO sleepy.
didn't have a goodnite sleep.
and I haven't finish my HMT.
and so, I'm at home still, instead of rushing for MAB class.
I want to finish and sleep!!
but still, I have tuition this afternoon.
HOW AM I EVER GG TO SURVIVE IT ALL?
rawrrrrrrrrr!
God, I pray that everything will be just fine.
Amen.